dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
