I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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