If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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