New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
