I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
