Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
