You're my little dorito
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
