He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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