he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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