these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
