Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
