Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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