the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
