I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
