party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
