He kissed a someone with a penis
why do cheetos always look like penises
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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