I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
