careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
MIDGETS
????
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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