it was like eating out sand paper
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
