the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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