I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
