You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
4 words: hood of his car
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
