okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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