Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
