I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
