Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
