Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
