her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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