haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
