I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
