maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
