there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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