if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
