I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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