i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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