i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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