You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
