At least make sure they are 18
Why
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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