I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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