The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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