Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
