well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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