Screwed.edu
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
