Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he's gonorrhea incarnate
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
