how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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