**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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