last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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