She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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