I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
