Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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