You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
